Is it the norm to conform?

I’ve been thinking (dangerous for me I know) a lot lately about how easily we are swayed and how we conform to our perceived notion of what we should be doing, how we ought to look and how we  live our lives; the ‘if everybody else is doing it, should I be doing it too’ mentality.   On Saturday night, as we were watching ‘The Voice’, (isn’t Danny O’Donoghue lovely?  That accent is to die for!) my daughter turns to me and says, “I want hair like that lady,” as she pointed to Holly Willoughby, “and can you do my hair blonde mummy!”  For the love of Mike, (whoever he is) this was my three year old daughter not my sixteen year old!  How is it that in our so-called progressive culture, our little girls are still growing up wanting to look like Barbie?  I told her that she had pretty hair already and I could put a clip in it instead.  Let’s just hope she can wait another ten years or more for the peroxide!  Not that I’m against colouring hair, it’s the lesser of a whole host of ways that kids can express themselves.  I’ve been colouring my hair since I was around 14 and won’t be able to stop now that I am sprouting some grey.  How awful, I thought only middle aged women got grey hair! 

 Back to my point, why are we always under the impression that everyone else has got it right or that everyone is doing this or that and we want to keep up or do what they are doing?  My sixteen year old informed me two Fridays ago that it was National Weed Day! (and by that I don’t mean weeds of the dandelion variety) Her and her friend told me that everyone their age smoked weed!  Now this can’t possibly be true. I pointed out that if the two of them didn’t do it then that meant everybody wasn’t doing it. Of course I was met with the normal response, rolling eyes and ‘muu-uum!’  I did try to point out to them that just because ‘everybody’s doing something’ doesn’t make it right!  However, I was thankful that I took the girls to the relative safety of a rapper concert instead of them hanging out with their friends on the evening of National Weed Day.

It’s not just children and teenagers though who are so easily swayed.   Another example which demonstrates it is rife amongst adults, is the whole phenomenon of trying to ‘out do’ each other with what we write as our Facebook status.  Some people seem to lead idyllic lives.  They sound like such smug little suckers but their lives can’t possibly be that great.  You’d think that some of these gals were the perfect mothers, with perfect families, who had amazing love lives, were mentally, emotionally and spiritually fulfilled and were following their dreams and passions.  Is it just me that wants to shout, bah humbug?  Oh that my life were as perfect and exciting as my Facebook status.   I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not always as clever, tough, and all-together as my status may sometimes suggest.  I’m not a perfect mother, definitely have a crazy family and am generally all over the place when it comes to being balanced mentally and spiritually.  My emotions are usually more akin to a roller coaster ride than a merry go round and the full extent of my love life is shouting, ‘Bye, have a good day? I love you!’ to my son and his teacher (yes male) thinks I’m shouting it to him! 

 Do you think we ever get to the point where we are truly happy in our own skins and live our lives the way we want to live them without regard for what everybody else is doing or for how we think we should look, act, behave?  I’d like to think so.  On that note I’d like to say, if you see me at the grocery store in my sweats, without makeup on and with roots that need attention; as well as a Facebook status that is far from positive or inspirational, you’ll know it’s only because I am attempting to live my life as an honest, real woman not just as one following the crowd!  On second thoughts, who am I kidding?  Highly unlikely you’ll ever catch me out the house without my make-up on!  After all, it’s not just make up, it’s war paint.  Let’s keep battling girls!