Don't Mess With My Ducks

Blast! Isn't it always the way that as soon as you feel like you've got all your ducks in a row, what appears to be a trigger happy marksman comes along and pops one of them off? I'm not sure my ducks are ever quite in a row (I'm not that organised or neat.) but some days I feel like they are definitely waddling along in the same direction whilst  I flap alongside, squawking, pecking and generally trying to make sure that we don't run out of toilet paper. Other days, it feels like my flock is scattered far and wide; lost and needing far more than I am able to give.

One day last week as I arrived at work, I just had to exhale deeply and say to myself, 'Let go and let God.' I had left my 17 year old at home to deal with the task of getting through to the Doctors to make an appointment for herself. I honestly believe that the odds of winning the lottery exceed the chance of getting through to our local, snippy receptionist within the first five attempts at hitting redial.  My  12 year old, who quite literally would forget his head if it wasn't attached, was left to remember school bag, bus money, swimming kit and all the ingredients to make scones in third period along with an apron (of which failure to produce results in detention). My 9 year old was literally sent packing; suitcase and wellies in hand for a school residential trip. Last of all, the staff of my 4 year old's nursery had to prise her from my leg where she had attached herself like a limpet, eyes brimming, lip quivering in the classic, 'Let's make Mum feel guilty for leaving me here instead of being a stay at home parent' pose. I would say that I go to work for a rest but my  job there is to look after and attempt to educate others' ducks.

 Everything happens for a reason. God gives the toughest battles to His strongest soldiers. Those who fly solo  have the strongest wings. Blah, blah, blah. What if I don't want things to happen for a reason, be the strongest soldier or have the most powerful wings? Really!! And while we're on it, I'm ready for some blessings that aren't in disguise and I'm quite happy with my character remaining exactly as it is.

However, I'm learning to accept that despite everything, life is going to happen anyway and all these interruptions are my life. I will occasionally run out of ketchup. I will turn up a week late for a dental appointment, or early as happened on one occasion for a parent's evening. My children will have temper tantrums and act out because they have already learned that life isn't fair. I will occasionally (or to be more accurate, frequently) need a friend who offers both a listening ear and depending on time of day, a cup of coffee or glass of wine. I will run out of money despite having cheques left in my cheque book. There are times when I will have to make tough calls regarding the contact that my children have with their father. I will have to turn down work on days when I have a sick kid and inevitably, no one is free to have them for the day. The day will come when my child turns 18 and will go ahead and get the tattoo. I will have evenings where I feel like getting all dressed up but have no one to go out with. My children may develop ailments and syndromes over which I have no control. They will get into scrapes and bad company, leaving me to pick up the pieces.

This is life and it's up to me to soldier on, believe that everything does happen for a reason even if I never know the reason, continue to fly solo, developing the most awesome wings and just be thankful that I've got some ducks. Who cares if they aren't in any kind of organised row?!