For The First Time

When was the last time that you tried something for the first time? I can honestly say, last weekend.

Name, easy, click. Location, done, click.  Brown or white? I don’t mind really.  Click. Size? Not too big, not too small, this looks about right. Click. Mature? Absolutely! Click. Spanish? Californian? I don’t have a problem with nationality. Click. Favourites? Wow, someone has been keeping track of my preferences and they are all listed. 

Yes, I have finally caved and resorted to on line services. No you numpties, not a dating website but online grocery shopping. I figured if my parents can figure out how to shop online at their age, then so can I. Don’t get me wrong, I use Amazon and other sites but have never handed over the responsibility of allowing someone else to pick out my plums and feel the melons.  However, I do not want to waste several hours of my precious weekend trawling the aisles of whichever grocery store seems to have the best offers; especially not with several children in tow. Gone are the days where I leave the kids with hubby while I escape for some ‘me time’ and do the weekly shop. Yes, I can hear you child-free, youngsters thinking, ‘What kind of nutter considers a food shopping trip, me time?’ All I can say is, just you wait. Even a trip to the bathroom alone is considered bliss when you have small children.

I’m pleased to say that the whole process was relatively straight forward and painless. Although, I must say, if supermarkets think their slogan, ‘Save Online,’ is going to catch on, they are mistaken. It’s definitely ‘Spend Online’ and the process is not painless to one’s bank balance. As no real money is exchanged, it’s rather like playing shops, after a few hasty clicks and in less than half an hour, you find you have racked up quite a bill. Never mind, perhaps it will stop my impulse buying which is almost inevitable once I enter the hypnotizing , ‘scientifically proved to induce buying,’  fluorescent lit shop interior which draws you in and filters prospective shoppers with its strategically placed products  which ensure that  you are driven to all four corners of the store.

One of the good things about the process was that the order could be changed at any point up until midnight  the night before delivery; perfect for people like me who forget things and have had to return to a store three times in a day.  You could also pick a suitable hour slot for delivery. Presumably, there are a group of organised people that do this weekly and have their designated slot. Clearly, I will not be one of these people. My orders will be as and when I remember and will end up taking whatever delivery slots are left.

So, as the next day dawned and my hour of delivery arrived, I was beginning to wonder what the fine print said about late delivery times. Was there a ‘late delivery / free pizza’ type policy? Now that would be nice.  You will not be surprised to hear that, given my inability to retain important pieces of information, especially where times/dates are concerned, my ‘preferred hour of delivery’ clashed with me having to nip out for 15 minutes to take my daughter to work.  So, with ten minutes left of my delivery hour to go, I had to dash out, leaving my trusty neighbour once again to take charge of proceedings should the delivery arrive.  And yes, it did arrive, two minutes after I left the house and with five minutes remaining of my hour slot so no option of testing the ‘free pizza’ policy.  

I was impressed with the overall order apart from the strawberries being a little riper than I would have liked. You know me. I like to inspect the strawberry punnets, not only for quality but also for value for money. I want plenty of strawberries for my pound. My twelve year old was not quite so impressed with the order. ‘Mum, why does your shopping order sheet say Alcohol & Tobacco at the top?’ I assured him that despite my stress levels of late, I had not taken to lighting up but did have to confess that I had ordered a couple of bottles of wine. Hey, if someone was willing to deliver my Friday night date with Mr Rioja, who was I to say no? I’m just surprised that there was not a heading on the order form with ‘Not good for you but just the thing for Friday nights in alone’ and then they could also have included the pizza or microwave curry for one, chocolate and ice cream in that category. This would leave the delivery driver with no doubt that you are a pathetic singleton, with an evening of Friday night TV to keep you company. Sigh. C’est la vie.

Having said that, will I be ordering on line again? You betcha! I’m already wondering why I did not start doing this ages ago. The order also stated, ‘If you are unhappy with a product please hand it back for a full refund.’ I also received a coupon for 10p OFF per litre of fuel, not to be sneezed at, as well as some coupons for Pyrex dishes which I could save up and purchase to add to my already groaning glassware cupboards. Now, if online dating agencies had the same perks, who knows? I might even consider giving those a whirl!