What's in a name?

Mrs, Miss or Ms?

I was recently asked what I was going to do about my name once my divorce became final and so I have been giving it a lot of thought.  As any divorced woman will tell you, it’s not a straight forward issue and causes a great deal of wonderment.  There is no specific protocol for what should happen and it seems to be an entirely personal decision.  Men obviously win out in this situation as a Mr is a Mr no matter what.  A woman on the other hand, is immediately labelled based on her title.

 It makes no sense to me to be called Mrs Kemp anymore as the Mrs implies that I am married.  To return to my maiden name and call myself Miss Simmonds feels equally strange as I am no longer the woman I was when I relinquished this name twenty years ago.  A large part of me very much wants to keep the name Kemp as it is my children’s surname and I don’t want them to have to make lengthy explanations at school as to why they have a different name to their mum.  Having the same last name also says that we all belong to the same family.  So then, I am left with the option of calling myself Miss Kemp or Ms Kemp.  As soon as I hear the name, Miss Kemp, to my ears it sounds very similar to miskempt which implies messy and badly looked after and so I’m not particularly keen on that for obvious reasons.  I’m also wondering if ‘putting myself’ out there as a Miss would send the message that I am single and back on the ‘open market’ so to speak.  I am sure that at some point in the future I will want to be but it does seem slightly premature at this stage.

This leaves me with the option of being called Ms Kemp.  Now am I the only one who conjures up a stereotypical picture of a woman who calls herself Ms?  Either I envision a P.E. teacher, with short, spiky hair, wearing a tracksuit with a whistle permanently placed around her neck or a middle-aged, robust woman in a tweed skirt, with sensible shoes and who beneath her starched blouse, wears  heavy-duty over the shoulder boulder holders with reinforced clasps which would deter even Houdini.  I don’t fit the bill on either of these counts; a)I don’t like wearing track suits as they are completely unflattering and b)as I am writing this I am wearing shiny, red ballet pumps.

 Now, you might be thinking why rush into anything Debbie.  Give yourself time to decide what you want to do.  Unfortunately time is ticking on and I am due to return to the fray of a teaching career very soon and as such, my name must be insitu before I commence.  I’ve wondered about giving myself a nom de teach much as an author may give herself a nom de plume.  What about Miss Minogue or Miss Aniston?  No, I might prove something of a disappointment when I walk into class with below par celebrity hair or crusty cheerios hanging from my skirt where they have unbeknown to me cemented themselves at the breakfast table.  Perhaps I should go for something more commanding such as Miss Thatcher or Miss Robinson?  Although it might be hard to strike a nurturing, caring note with a Reception/Kindergarten class when all I have running through my mind is, ‘You are the weakest link, goodbye!’

And so you see my dilemma!  Looks like it is going to involve a lot more chocolate, glasses of wine and thinking time before I reach a conclusion!  Thoughts please from those who have suggestions or who have made an informed decision themselves with regards to this issue.