Have you ever noticed that when you're going through challenges, it's possible to muster strength and courage to 'power through' but once the crisis is over that spirit seems to evaporate? The drama has passed and you experience a lull with a plateau of activity and emotions.
For the last few years, I've had to find an extra portion of daily strength to cope with the chaos, uncertainty and difficulties in my life. Now that things have stabilised and are on more of an even keel, I'm finding that my 'get through it no matter what' attitude has dissipated and I'm missing the fighting determination of tough times.
This may seem strange to some and you may be wondering why I don't just enjoy the relative peace and quiet of a calmer life. As is the way with most codependents, I was so used to drama that I am struggling to be at peace during the calm; simply because I'm not used to it. I even find life a little dull when there isn't some kind of catastrophe to be dealt with or situation to be sorted.
I am coming to understand that this is unhealthy and so I am working towards letting the drama go and taking delight in the peace. How? By taking just one day at a time and remembering that it is progress not perfection that I can expect of myself.
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