There's a hole in my bucket

Patience is definitely not one of my virtues.  It may not always be apparent outwardly but inside my head, I can often hear the metaphorical drumming of impatient fingers. When I need something doing, I want it done yesterday. If there are issues that need resolving, I want them dealt with there and then, done and dusted, next! You’d think that being a teacher and mother of four that I’d have bucket-loads of patience but I do believe that there’s a hole in my bucket.

I do keep praying to my Higher Power to give me patience for all the trials that seem to come my way but I am gradually awakening to the fact that perhaps the trials are God’s way of teaching me the very patience that I am requesting. Will I get to the point where I have learned my lesson in patience and I will be given a 'free pass' to the next stage? I'm not sure it's going to work quite like that but I do believe there is much to be learned through the trials that are allotted to us.

Beginnings are exciting; endings are heartbreaking and in between are the days that make up the majority of our time. These 'in between' periods in our lives are often waiting rooms; punctuated with appointments and events. How sad then if I fail to enjoy the surroundings and people in my particular ‘holding bay'; all because I am too impatient to be at peace in my current situation.

I’ve been thinking that there should be two different words for waiting. One word which means: waiting patiently, enjoying what is and living in hope. The other to mean: waiting pensively, failing to live in the present for fear of never finding resolutions. Part of my learning to 'wait patiently mindset', involves me putting trust in my Higher Power that all things work out at the right time; not a moment sooner or later than they should. Having faith in this certainly takes the pressure off.

Sometimes during the waiting periods of our lives, we learn more about ourselves, our character, our ambitions, hopes and dreams for the future. We can even find new direction during these times. There is definitely value in these periods of our lives although it can be hard to accept this fact in the midst of these trying times.  As I look back on the last year, I can already see the start of many good things that have taken root during that particularly challenging part of my life as I went through the divorce process. Some of these may end up being closed doors, others may be the start of new and exciting opportunities.

My hope for those of you, who are also finding yourselves in a ‘waiting period,’ is that you will find peace, blessings, joy and perhaps even new direction.